Feelings Part 3: How to Express and Communicate Your Feelings in Healthy Ways

In the first two parts of this blog series, we explored what feelings are, what happens when we suppress them, and how to begin reconnecting with long-buried emotions. In this final post, we’ll talk about how to express your feelings—and how to communicate them to others in a way that’s clear, respectful, and healing.

Why Expressing Feelings Matters

Think of your feelings as energy in the body. Like any energy, they need movement and release. When emotions are acknowledged and expressed—ideally not long after they arise—they’re less likely to build up and lead to stress, anxiety, or physical symptoms.

There are many ways to express emotions, and not all of them involve talking. Some people find that writing, creative outlets, or even physical movement helps release what they’re feeling. What matters most is finding ways that feel safe and authentic for you.

Ways to Express Your Feelings

1. Talking to Someone You Trust

Sharing your emotions with a supportive friend, partner, or therapist can be one of the most effective ways to express what’s going on inside. It’s important that this person is someone who will listen—without trying to fix, advise, or analyze right away.

Often, people find relief not just in being heard, but in allowing themselves to truly feel as they speak. If you’re always describing your emotions rather than experiencing them while you talk, you might not get the full benefit. Let yourself be vulnerable, even if just a little at a time.

2. Writing It Out

Journaling can be a powerful way to express emotions privately. You might try writing in a “feelings journal” to capture what you’re feeling in the moment. Over time, this can help you spot patterns—such as specific people, situations, or triggers that bring up strong emotional responses.

You don’t have to write every day, and you don’t even need to keep what you’ve written. The act of writing itself can help release tension and create clarity.

3. Expressing Difficult Emotions: Sadness and Anger

Some emotions are harder to express than others—especially those we’ve been taught to avoid, like sadness or anger. Below are some specific ideas to help gently access and release these feelings.

Sadness
Sometimes we know there’s sadness inside, but we struggle to let it out. You might feel on the verge of tears but unable to cry. Crying can be a deeply healing release, especially when we’re grieving or facing disappointment.
To help bring sadness to the surface, try:

• Listening to meaningful or evocative music

• Watching a heartfelt movie or reading emotional poetry

• Sitting quietly and allowing yourself to soften toward what you’re feeling

Anger
Many people suppress anger because they fear it will hurt others or feel out of control. But holding in anger for too long can create problems—emotionally and physically.

To release anger safely, some find it helpful to engage in physical movement associated with aggression, such as:

• Hitting a pillow or punching bag

• Throwing eggs into a bathtub or against a wall (carefully!)

• Yelling into a pillow

• Swinging a tennis racket against a mattress

• Exercising vigorously

Important note: These techniques are best used occasionally and mindfully—not as a daily routine. Research suggests that frequent “venting” of anger through physical release can actually increase feelings of anger over time. The goal is not to stir up more aggression, but to make space for awareness and release.

How to Communicate Feelings to Others

Now that we’ve covered how to express feelings in general, let’s explore how to communicate feelings to someone who may have triggered them. This step can bring tremendous relief and growth—but it also requires care and intention.

Here are a few key guidelines:

1. Make Sure the Other Person is Willing to Listen

Before opening a vulnerable conversation, it’s important to check whether the other person is in a space to hear you. You might say, “There’s something I’d like to share that’s important to me. Is now a good time?”

If they interrupt or offer advice too quickly, you can gently ask them to wait until you’re finished:
“It would really help me if I could share everything before you respond.”

2. Use “I” Statements Instead of Blame

People are much more open to hearing feedback when they don’t feel attacked. Try to speak from your own experience, rather than pointing fingers.

Instead of:
“You made me so mad when you didn’t pick up the phone.”

Try:
“I felt really hurt and frustrated when I didn’t hear back from you.”

This approach takes responsibility for your feelings while still being honest and clear.

3. Focus on Specific Behaviors, Not the Person’s Character

Stay focused on what was done, rather than making personal judgments. For example:

• “When you walked out of the room during our conversation, I felt dismissed.”

• Rather than: “You’re so rude and disrespectful.”

Focusing on behaviors gives room for repair and understanding—while attacking someone’s character often shuts down connection.

4. Avoid Judgments and Labels

It’s easy to slip into judgments when we’re hurt or upset. But statements like “You always…” or “You never…” tend to make others defensive, and often escalate conflict. Try to stay grounded in your own experience and needs.

Final Thoughts

Expressing and communicating your feelings in healthy ways is a powerful act of self-respect. It also strengthens your relationships and allows for deeper understanding with others.

These skills take time to develop, especially if you've spent years holding things in. Be patient with yourself. Even small moments of emotional honesty can create powerful shifts over time.

Looking for help with taking the next step? Let’s connect. Schedule a free consultation today.